my world

Ok i have a lot to say Kim. First and foremost I never meant to offend you. Anger never solves anything. It is the root of all ego. So i'm not going to get angry.
Janelle's business is my business too because she means alot to me. I will not just stand by and watch her cry at night because she thinks your mad at her for not trying hard enough! When really she can't do anymore! I'm not gonna sit here and watch her get hurt. Watch u get hurt. and really you may think that i have no right to say that because of what happened last year. but you wern't in my position. You didn't bare the load so you can't imagine what it was like. or what i was going through at the time. Just like i really have no right to criticize what your going through right now. I never said i did. You just gave me reason to write back and defend myself with all of the anger and insults you threw at me. You can't expect me not to say something. Everything i've said was true though. Whether it be so in your case or not. Its just what i've gathered out of all the times janelle has ever come to me. I can understand if you'd rather i not publicly state it on a blog. and if you don't want my insight then politely say it. Don't make an ass out of yourself by showing that you let it get to you. Because really if you think about it if it got to you then there's a reason for that. There's may be some truth to it. The stuff i said hurt you because it was valid. ?
Kim i don't want to hate you. i never did, I never will. Thats not my objective here. I just wanna be your friend. Don't shut me out. I'm sure you have tons of things you could teach me. Stuff that i need to learn out of life. I never claimed that i knew everything. ("pompus priss?") I never will. I mean who knows anything?
Again i understand if your mad at me. I'm just saddened by it because i want nothing more then your frendship. I'm jelous that Larissa can go out with you guys and have a good time. Why can't I? Why do u hate me so much? Life is short. If i can help it I'm not going to waste it hating. I'm going to love every one that I can...

ouch!! o well i knew you'd take it that way. but its ok. seriously though its all the truth.
All the times you've ever complained its been about this. and i didn't say forcing her to kno would make u love yourself. its just hard for u guys to love when u don't first love yourselves. because then your insecure and liek kim sit at home making up ideas that her gf doesn't try hard enough because shes not good enough herself so obviously you couldn't love her. and she does this because she has no self confidence. u need confidence to believe that someone really and truly loves you.
the comment you made that i originally questioned was: "I hate myself"
I asked you why and u said because "I love my girlfriend"
maybe i just read it wrong but love for your girlfriend shouldn't leave you hating yourself.
I wish i was at the Sean Forrest concert!!!!

(comment to janelle's comment to my comment)
love has many aspects. You can't love fully until you first love and know yourself. if your gf is making u feel as though u can't satisfy her and its not something u can in your position help, then theres something wrong. You have to step back and analyze the situation especially before acting on it. personally i think you both need to communicate your undieing love for eachother and establish that its not going to change. That way you can develop some confidence there. but i know its prob real hard with a long distance relationship. IF your gf loves you (which i'm sure she does) she'll understand and get past her personal insecurities. If you don't make it through it wasn't worth it in the first place

and why would one say something like that?

First of all i never regret unless it comes to my school work and the last 2 years of my life that i threw away. not going to a dance isn't something to regret. ;-) Second i had a good night neway...just because i didn't go to the dance doesn't mean i didn't do anything. ryan and i needed time together. third and most importantly don't pity me!! God wouldn't give me a load that i can't handle. So remember that please.

sorry guys janelle's laptop is broke...Just so you know she didn't drop dead or anything...:-P

hehehe...I have the Intuition!!! And lots and lots of film...doot do dooo!! :-P