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This is for my freinds and girl to see whats up in my life.
Sunday, June 01, 2003
ok i kno i really have to fix my blog but for now this will work...
You know i really fucking just give up...you can't say you put more into this friendship than i do...you really fucking can't. you kno i try as hard as i can. and its not easy being there for both you and ryan and *gags* larissa too. besides the fact that i told you a couple weeks ago that i'd prob be a crappy friend for the next couple of weeks because i have to concentrate on my schoolwork. thats whats really important now. I let it slip for 2 quarters but i can't do it again. I'll probably regret that for the rest of my life.
You and ryan both mean the world to me and i try as hard as i can to give you equal time and stuff. but u have to realize how hard it is. I cna't just be like go away i'm with nell now. or go away its ryan time. It doesn't work like that...and obviously i'm going to spend more time one the phone with him or go more places with him because of circumstances. but when i can go places with u i do. for ex. the movies last night which by the way was hilarious.
but i cna't always walk you to your bus or always walk him to his bus as i've told him and he understands. I kno it would be nice but i can't be in 2 places at once. and just don't expect it this week or for a while because i have alot of work to do. and i told him the same thing.
but i guess what i'm trying to say is i don't selectively choose who i wanna be with. So don't think that. you have to see it from my point of view. Being pulled in different directions isn't fun. I don't wanna choose(as if i could) so don't make me.
and then what gets me is you and complain to kim about it. So she thinks i'm some horrrible person. Just try being me for a day. its not easy
You know i really fucking just give up...you can't say you put more into this friendship than i do...you really fucking can't. you kno i try as hard as i can. and its not easy being there for both you and ryan and *gags* larissa too. besides the fact that i told you a couple weeks ago that i'd prob be a crappy friend for the next couple of weeks because i have to concentrate on my schoolwork. thats whats really important now. I let it slip for 2 quarters but i can't do it again. I'll probably regret that for the rest of my life.
You and ryan both mean the world to me and i try as hard as i can to give you equal time and stuff. but u have to realize how hard it is. I cna't just be like go away i'm with nell now. or go away its ryan time. It doesn't work like that...and obviously i'm going to spend more time one the phone with him or go more places with him because of circumstances. but when i can go places with u i do. for ex. the movies last night which by the way was hilarious.
but i cna't always walk you to your bus or always walk him to his bus as i've told him and he understands. I kno it would be nice but i can't be in 2 places at once. and just don't expect it this week or for a while because i have alot of work to do. and i told him the same thing.
but i guess what i'm trying to say is i don't selectively choose who i wanna be with. So don't think that. you have to see it from my point of view. Being pulled in different directions isn't fun. I don't wanna choose(as if i could) so don't make me.
and then what gets me is you and complain to kim about it. So she thinks i'm some horrrible person. Just try being me for a day. its not easy
